David's New eBlog, Volume 2, Issue 2: "This is for the Weekend"
This is my V2I2 originally sent out 6/30/06
Welcome back to Volume 2. “But Wait,” you say, “Last issue was volume 2.” This is volume 2 issue 2, since it is in the same week. You might think that this is the biggest news since the invention of movable type! Welcome to the “weekend e-Dition.” Much more importantly, I have made a change so big, so wonderful, that I blew my project budget reorganizing. You will understand as you read my eBlog. “But what is an ‘eBlog’ ” you say? I can’t post a blog online since it is a blocked site, [Grrrrr] I am sending out this “eBlog.” Please don’t refer to it as an eblog. This is cool and trendy, just like I am [If I wasn’t cool and trendy, you wouldn’t be reading this now]. So that is why it is spelled with the second letter capitalized, just like iPod, eBusiness, or eLephant.
Corrections/Missed items from the last edition: I didn’t have any mistakes pointed to me. However I am would never make a very good televangelist. Last time, I asked for donations, but I forgot to give you my address. My address is:
David Hilburg
3896 CONSTITUTION AVE
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO 80909
Please don’t put Qatar or Al Udeid on it. If you asked me to buy something pricey for you, and you want to send me money, just wait till I get home. Let me give that to you again, incase you missed it:
David Hilburg
3896 CONSTITUTION AVE
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO 80909
Does this make me a better televangelist? Or just a eBlogangelist? Send yummy stuff! Peanut Butter Squares are good! Cookies are good! Lemon Chicken nuggets are good, but don’t send them! I would rather not get sick. You can also send not yummy stuff, assuming that it wasn’t meant for eating. Magazines are good! DVDs are good! A million dollars is even better! In fact, if you send me that, I will promise to keep Big Bird on PBS and keep preaching to the choir.
And we learned that the chocolate doesn’t melt too much, so you can send me PB squares with chocolate!
I’m falling behind in the package count. I have received ONLY 2 packages. One was a request of things I forgot [plus a sandbox shovel for digging in the desert], the other was cookies [which are gone]. Look at how many everyone else has gotten! I created a bar graph to illustrate this.
So last time I was discussing the “Cadillac” and I forgot to mention something. I went to take a shower one night and I turned the cold water on, and it was scalding hot! Ouch, -2 “coolness points” for the shower. So I figured maybe it was set-up backwards, like it was backwards day, or somebody-in-particulars washing machine, and I turned it to hot. It was still hot, but it was a little bit cooler. At least it didn’t scald me; I think I got a little 1st degree burn from the “cold” water. So many of you, inclusive of my psychology-major-sister who are not scientifically versed, must wonder what happened. Well here is my hypothesis: the Qataris, who have the highest per capita income in the world, knock large blocks of ice off Antarctica, They then tow it all the way to Doha, where they dump it in a giant tank, and sent it out through the desert. The towboat operators have devised a way to have the heat that would normally melt the ice just build up inside of it so they are floating 100 degree icebergs up the Indian Ocean. That is why the water is hot. If any of you have an “in” with the towboat operators, will you let me know? I would like to prove my theory.
Actually, I think the water is transformed from saltwater to freshwater at a plant in Doha, which is like 45 minutes to the industrial area. From there is must sit around, and sooner or later be sent via a large pipe where it bakes in the sun and the 120 degree heat. I would like to have a day where it is cold enough to prove that. So if you have an “in” with the local Qatari meteorologist, let me know, so he can make it cold one day. Don’t worry about me; I brought my windbreaker (It was in the 50’s in Germany). And if it is too cold, I brought my heavier DCU coat. Only the government would tell you to bring a coat to the desert in the middle of summer! I also brought a pair of gloves, and hat too! (although not a wool hat; they sell them here.)
Ooooh, tell me Hot & Dirty Stuff: So let me tell you a little story about me. ;) To some of you, I am the hottest, dirtiest thing in the desert, but you already knew that. I went over to a different section of the base, and parked. They had issued a wind advisory earlier that day for winds about 40 knots, gusting to 50 with blowing sand. I didn’t really want to get out of the car in the middle of a mini-sandstorm though. I opened the door and it flew open. Luckily it missed the car next to me, because I couldn’t have stopped it. I swear that 30 seconds later, I was covered in dust and sweat. You could see the dust blowing across the parking lot in waves several feet high. At least, I would have seen that if I could have seen. I suppose this is why I brought goggles; it would have been nice if we could get a weather report before the weather started.
Basically the weather here is one of the following things: (Like any good AFAA auditor, I will use bullet format)
The wind blows off the Persian Gulf, bringing in hot, humid air. It is hot and sticky wind a small amount of wind.
The wind blows from the south, which is the large desert of Saudi Arabia. It blows hot dry air with high wind speeds.
The weather here just blows. Period.
I am wanting to see a sandstorm come like they have in the movie “The Mummy.” The face in the sandstorm is optional. The mini-sandstorm just made me dirty and gross. It’s clogging my pores. If I was like 14, I would like, have horrible acne. Like, really! I had to go take a shower right after work and burn my clothes. There was a security guard at the gate, and she was wearing a pair of goggles (like in High School chem lab) and a scarf. I couldn’t see any of her; she kinda reminded me of the Arab women that I saw in town. I only could tell that she was a girl is because she had a higher pitched voice than me, and that would be hard for a guy to do.
The new contest: OK—Using the your home phone and DSN, call a DSN in the middle east. The one who has the best story as deemed by me wins. In the case of there no 1st chance winner, there will be a second chance contest next week. You are not eligible for this contest if “home” is (permanently or temporarily) on a military installation. The winner gets something cool from here, like a box of candied dates.
More Point and Smile: Let me pick up where I started rambling. She wouldn’t tell me that she misses me. So next time you see her, and only the next time, point and smile at her. She will get it.
Fin: And that is it for the short weekend eBlog. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please email me here. I have a goal, and only you, yes you, can help me reach it. I want to have somebody I don’t know write me that they like my eBlog. So forward this to people you know, and even people you don’t know. Hopefully, I will hear back at my email address: mailto:david.hilburg@auab.centaf.af.mil. Please help my good cause and make my goal come true! Also if you would like to be added to my list, let me know. I can’t access my Yahoo! Mail to get my list. So email me and tell me to subscribe you.
In the next eBlog, “David goes to town,” a review of dining facility food, and a piece on “fig birds.” All of this, with less fluff! How much would you pay for all that? $39.99? $29.99? Ha! I beat down the competition. It is yours for a bargain basement price! (And I promise the next one will be Cooler, Funnier, and Grosser!
David in the Desert,
Now serving more than 25 email addresses.
Welcome back to Volume 2. “But Wait,” you say, “Last issue was volume 2.” This is volume 2 issue 2, since it is in the same week. You might think that this is the biggest news since the invention of movable type! Welcome to the “weekend e-Dition.” Much more importantly, I have made a change so big, so wonderful, that I blew my project budget reorganizing. You will understand as you read my eBlog. “But what is an ‘eBlog’ ” you say? I can’t post a blog online since it is a blocked site, [Grrrrr] I am sending out this “eBlog.” Please don’t refer to it as an eblog. This is cool and trendy, just like I am [If I wasn’t cool and trendy, you wouldn’t be reading this now]. So that is why it is spelled with the second letter capitalized, just like iPod, eBusiness, or eLephant.
Corrections/Missed items from the last edition: I didn’t have any mistakes pointed to me. However I am would never make a very good televangelist. Last time, I asked for donations, but I forgot to give you my address. My address is:
David Hilburg
3896 CONSTITUTION AVE
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO 80909
Please don’t put Qatar or Al Udeid on it. If you asked me to buy something pricey for you, and you want to send me money, just wait till I get home. Let me give that to you again, incase you missed it:
David Hilburg
3896 CONSTITUTION AVE
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO 80909
Does this make me a better televangelist? Or just a eBlogangelist? Send yummy stuff! Peanut Butter Squares are good! Cookies are good! Lemon Chicken nuggets are good, but don’t send them! I would rather not get sick. You can also send not yummy stuff, assuming that it wasn’t meant for eating. Magazines are good! DVDs are good! A million dollars is even better! In fact, if you send me that, I will promise to keep Big Bird on PBS and keep preaching to the choir.
And we learned that the chocolate doesn’t melt too much, so you can send me PB squares with chocolate!
I’m falling behind in the package count. I have received ONLY 2 packages. One was a request of things I forgot [plus a sandbox shovel for digging in the desert], the other was cookies [which are gone]. Look at how many everyone else has gotten! I created a bar graph to illustrate this.
So last time I was discussing the “Cadillac” and I forgot to mention something. I went to take a shower one night and I turned the cold water on, and it was scalding hot! Ouch, -2 “coolness points” for the shower. So I figured maybe it was set-up backwards, like it was backwards day, or somebody-in-particulars washing machine, and I turned it to hot. It was still hot, but it was a little bit cooler. At least it didn’t scald me; I think I got a little 1st degree burn from the “cold” water. So many of you, inclusive of my psychology-major-sister who are not scientifically versed, must wonder what happened. Well here is my hypothesis: the Qataris, who have the highest per capita income in the world, knock large blocks of ice off Antarctica, They then tow it all the way to Doha, where they dump it in a giant tank, and sent it out through the desert. The towboat operators have devised a way to have the heat that would normally melt the ice just build up inside of it so they are floating 100 degree icebergs up the Indian Ocean. That is why the water is hot. If any of you have an “in” with the towboat operators, will you let me know? I would like to prove my theory.
Actually, I think the water is transformed from saltwater to freshwater at a plant in Doha, which is like 45 minutes to the industrial area. From there is must sit around, and sooner or later be sent via a large pipe where it bakes in the sun and the 120 degree heat. I would like to have a day where it is cold enough to prove that. So if you have an “in” with the local Qatari meteorologist, let me know, so he can make it cold one day. Don’t worry about me; I brought my windbreaker (It was in the 50’s in Germany). And if it is too cold, I brought my heavier DCU coat. Only the government would tell you to bring a coat to the desert in the middle of summer! I also brought a pair of gloves, and hat too! (although not a wool hat; they sell them here.)
Ooooh, tell me Hot & Dirty Stuff: So let me tell you a little story about me. ;) To some of you, I am the hottest, dirtiest thing in the desert, but you already knew that. I went over to a different section of the base, and parked. They had issued a wind advisory earlier that day for winds about 40 knots, gusting to 50 with blowing sand. I didn’t really want to get out of the car in the middle of a mini-sandstorm though. I opened the door and it flew open. Luckily it missed the car next to me, because I couldn’t have stopped it. I swear that 30 seconds later, I was covered in dust and sweat. You could see the dust blowing across the parking lot in waves several feet high. At least, I would have seen that if I could have seen. I suppose this is why I brought goggles; it would have been nice if we could get a weather report before the weather started.
Basically the weather here is one of the following things: (Like any good AFAA auditor, I will use bullet format)
The wind blows off the Persian Gulf, bringing in hot, humid air. It is hot and sticky wind a small amount of wind.
The wind blows from the south, which is the large desert of Saudi Arabia. It blows hot dry air with high wind speeds.
The weather here just blows. Period.
I am wanting to see a sandstorm come like they have in the movie “The Mummy.” The face in the sandstorm is optional. The mini-sandstorm just made me dirty and gross. It’s clogging my pores. If I was like 14, I would like, have horrible acne. Like, really! I had to go take a shower right after work and burn my clothes. There was a security guard at the gate, and she was wearing a pair of goggles (like in High School chem lab) and a scarf. I couldn’t see any of her; she kinda reminded me of the Arab women that I saw in town. I only could tell that she was a girl is because she had a higher pitched voice than me, and that would be hard for a guy to do.
The new contest: OK—Using the your home phone and DSN, call a DSN in the middle east. The one who has the best story as deemed by me wins. In the case of there no 1st chance winner, there will be a second chance contest next week. You are not eligible for this contest if “home” is (permanently or temporarily) on a military installation. The winner gets something cool from here, like a box of candied dates.
More Point and Smile: Let me pick up where I started rambling. She wouldn’t tell me that she misses me. So next time you see her, and only the next time, point and smile at her. She will get it.
Fin: And that is it for the short weekend eBlog. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please email me here. I have a goal, and only you, yes you, can help me reach it. I want to have somebody I don’t know write me that they like my eBlog. So forward this to people you know, and even people you don’t know. Hopefully, I will hear back at my email address: mailto:david.hilburg@auab.centaf.af.mil. Please help my good cause and make my goal come true! Also if you would like to be added to my list, let me know. I can’t access my Yahoo! Mail to get my list. So email me and tell me to subscribe you.
In the next eBlog, “David goes to town,” a review of dining facility food, and a piece on “fig birds.” All of this, with less fluff! How much would you pay for all that? $39.99? $29.99? Ha! I beat down the competition. It is yours for a bargain basement price! (And I promise the next one will be Cooler, Funnier, and Grosser!
David in the Desert,
Now serving more than 25 email addresses.
posted by David at
6:39 PM
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