David's eBlog, Volume 4, "Things that belong in the Desert: Camels, Sand and Cruise Ships." Plus an exclusive look in my room.

Originally sent 7/11/06

Welcome Back to my wonderful eBlog. It is getting down to the nitty-gritty—Less than 2 weeks left in the desert. The question still remains—does my questionably loving readership miss me more today, or will they miss this superbly brilliant literary piece called my eBlog? It’s a poll! (You are not allowed to vote for Bush in this case. Actually, you all know how I feel about voting for him, and I technically can’t use government email materials to push political means. So take from this what you want, but it does not have an intended meaning. This sentence means even less.)

Quotes from people I don’t know. I got my first quote from somebody who I don’t know! Yay me!
Please add me to your list. I enjoy reading of your adventures. Good luck with the “Cadillac”. From your tales, I thought you might need it.
Enjoy your stay. Thanks for the entertainment.
-One nice lady in Kansas

I now have 25% of the state of Kansas as my readership. Anonymous reader, please pass this to your husband so I can get to 50%! (By the way, I will mention Kansas again. I’m not sure that is a good thing though.) If you are reading this and don’t know me, and let me know what you think. That way I can add you to the next mailer.

Things I forgot to mention: My watch battery died. I can’t buy another battery on base for it and the BX only sells $40 and up watches that cost like $10 at Target. It was very frustrating not having a watch. So I picked up an alarm clock for like $6 and carried it in my backpack.

My iPod: I still have an iPod. It is currently playing “Sweet Dreams” by the Eurythmics. It is song number 709 of 900. Can I finish? Place your bets; it will be a close one!

A Qatari 4th: So the 4th of July was last week. They had free blizzards at the pool at lunchtime, and real BBQ chicken at lunch. It was actually BBQed, not just broiled with BBQ sauce. It was good. Then at happy hour they had chicken wings from the pizza place that is on base. And at night, they had the “Best in Blue” show. That is an Air Force sponsored troupe of people who sing and dance. I give them 1 CS (see ratings scale) based on the fact that it just wasn’t my cup of coffee. They sang a bunch of songs we knew, but they sang them like they were in Fast-Forward.
Ratings Scale
1 CS (Cruise Ship) = I would not go see them on a cruise ship.
2 CS (Cruise Ship) = I would go see them once or twice on a cruise ship.
3 CS (Cruise Ship) = I would go see them every night on a cruise ship.

I opted for the Cruise Ship rating system because it reminded me of the shows that I tried to watch on the Cruise Ships. My grandmother would have really loved them though. One of my coworkers raves of them though. To him, don’t worry, they will be performing in Denver and several nights in the Springs. After the concert ended, and I had left much earlier they had fireworks! Really? No, not really, but it would have been good. I worked that day. What did you do? I bet you were not as productive as me!

A note to my not so loyal followers (this is all of you except for 5): I would like to say that I am currently still disappointed with all but one of my readers. The only piece of mail I got this week was “like a million dollars” from my roommate. So if you have not sent me anything, you still have one (1) day to send me packages. That means that it needs to be sent by Weds the 12th of July. That is tomorrow. I would like to thank my loyal followers who are being named as super heroes by what they sent me (because they are great!): Yummy-Cookie-Chick, the 6 Million dollar lady and Shovel Boy. All of the rest of you are my “not-so-loyal followers.” Except my Mom and Dad. They are still Mom and Dad. They are already named after superheroes.

So actually I didn’t get a million dollars. I could use that still. Somebody find rich uncle pennybags. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that I’m not actually going to get any more packages. However you should send me postcards. Think about it for a minute. I will come back to it.

More Cruise Ships: Last CurryDay, they had a cover band come in from Europe. They were good; they played some recent Top 40, some oldies, and some 80s. They were the best act which has played at Al Udeid. I found it entertaining that they bribed you with free pizza to come see them (not so much a direct bribe; they started giving away pizza 10 mins before they started.) Overall, I enjoyed them. I give them 2 CS. I found them entertaining and with some musical talent, although the jokes they told were worse than any of mine. That must make them pretty bad.

My Weekend: So on “WeekendDay” (aka Sunday), I went into Doha again with some of the other auditors. We went to the Gold Souk first, because some people needed stuff. I picked up a present I special ordered. Then I had my watch fixed. I was so happy to have the watch fixed so that it could tell time! I hate not having clocks around—I could never figure out how much time I was wasting at work without the watch. I then picked up presents for a bunch of people (If you are reading this, this is enough of a present. It is one of the great literary works of this time delivered free to your inbox.)
Then we went to another souk and I picked up a few more things. One of the guys I was with commented how good of a bargainer I was when I got the storekeeper to chase me after I walked out of the shop!

We had gotten a late start and by then it was 12:30 PM so we went to the mall since almost everything else closes in the heat of the day for religious siesta. We heard the Muslim “Call to Prayer” at about 3. It was kind of interesting that they have a state-wide call to prayer a few times a day. It reminds me of like a giant church bell.

One of the auditor-type-chicks wanted to buy some carpets while she was here. I think she spent close to $6,000 buying two carpets. I have a theory on this—You should not spend more than $5,000 on anything unless you can live in it or drive it. For my not-so-loyal followers, there is an exclusion of anything electrical. I can’t imagine spending that much for so little.

Eat Dirt!: According to the Weather Channel Online, the weather for Qatar today is “Dust.” It means blowing dust. Let’s look at what that means.
Blowing: The wind is blowing at like 50-60 knots here according to the AF weather service. I think that is like 150 or 200 miles per hour! When I went to lunch today, I think it took me like 4 times as long to get to the dining hall, because the wind was pushing me backwards. As a homework assignment get in the car going as fast as it can. Then stick the top half of your body out the window (Get somebody else to drive so your foot doesn’t come off the accelerator.). Make sure there are no low tree branches or farm animals or pigs in the way. That is what it was like here. The flagpoles are vibrating in the wind so much that I thought they were going to fly off. It’s like the movie “Twister.” Not only is it really windy, but this place is as boring as Oklahoma or Kansas or wherever that movie takes place.

Dust: Basically it is really fine sand particles. I feel really dirty, although in fact I am really just dusty. It must be really bad for my skin. It is basically really small sand particles.

So I got an email from the warning service:
KQIR WEATHER ADVISORY 07-029
VALID 10/0902Z (10/1202L) TO UFN (UFN)
SEVERE SANDSTORM EXPECTED WITH VISIBILITIES OF LESS THAN 500
CURRENT VISIBILITY AS OF 10/0907Z (10/1207L) IS 100M

100 meters? I can barely see 10 feet! Who writes this warning? We work on the second floor of the base theater and there is this huge vibration from the wind. You can hear the clink-clink-clink of the large dust bits hitting the siding of the building. I’m glad I moved out of the tent because I think I saw one blow away!

A note to my potentially loyal following: Now that you have read my eBlog, send me a postcard. I don’t care where it is from, just send me one. My address is (in case you forgot it or “misplaced it”:

Don’t misplace it again. This is your last chance to become famous and better than your friends. History could remember you kindly, or you can go on as too cheap to send a postcard.

My Room: I am trailer trash. I live in a trailer with me, Jed, Jethro, and Granny Clampett.
Let me tell you a little story about a little place. It is a 7’x7’ long story with a 7’ high ceiling.. It has a bunk bed in it. Why couldn’t I get a bunk bed when I was 9, but I’m get one now? The place is so short that I hit my head when I sat up. I fell out of bed once, and it hurt. 5 feet is a far distance to fall. Actually, I don’t really sleep on the top. I do seem to hit my head on it a lot. I have one good friend that I live with, A See; seems to work all the time though. I also have 2 dressers in my room which look more like shelves from the basement cabinets than dressers. At least they pretend to lock. I also have a little fridge. I haven’t thought of a name for it b/c I don’t want to get attached to it when I leave.

This is a long edition. It just keeps going.

Picture of the week: So I decided that the picture of the week for this week is camels. Here are the camels! Why Camels? Because I saw them just wandering around Doha. What kind of town has camels wondering around??? That and I also forgot my card in the room with the good pictures of me.

Fin: Some might say this eDition isn’t as funny. I’m not a comedian, a funnyman, an actor or a clown. My previewer said this was the second best one. I don’t know. Tell me what you thought.
Anyways, I am pretty darn funny. Next week I will discuss “bittersweet goodbye,” “Working at a Hotel,” and “Optimus Prime” as well as an inclusion of a good picture of me and some part of a top 10 list.

I’m looking for a guest section writer for my next eBlog Volume. Send me your story/note.

As always, please pass this along to all your friends, your family, people you love, and people you hate. Tell them to email me at mailto:david.hilburg@auab.centaf.af.mil. If you want to be added to the mailing list, email me.
Until next time, dream about me and my eBlog.

David

P.S. Shame on Todd for calling it a newsletter. This is not a newsletter. It is a cool & trendy eBlog.